- If a boy is aloof, stand-offish, ignores you or is just plain rude, it is because he is secretly in love with you — and you are the point of his existence.
- Secrets are good — especially life-threatening ones.
- It’s OK for a potential romantic interest to be dimwitted, violent and vengeful — as long as he has great abs.
- If a boy tells you to stay away from him because he is dangerous and may even kill you, he must be the love of your life. You should stay with him since he will keep you safe forever.
- If a boy leaves you, especially suddenly (while telling you he will never see you again), it is because he loves you so much he will suffer just to keep you safe.
- When a boy leaves you, going into shock, losing all your friends and enduring night terrors are completely acceptable occurrences — as long as you keep your grades up.
- It is extremely romantic to put yourself in dangerous situations in order to see your ex-boyfriend again. It’s even more romantic to remember the sound of his voice when he yelled at you.
- Boys who leave you always come back.
- Because they come back, you should hold out, waiting for them for months, even when completely acceptable and less-abusive alternative males present themselves.
- Even though you have no intention of dating an alternative male who expresses interest in you, it is fine to string the young man along for months. Also, you should use him to fix things for you. Maybe he’ll even buy you something.
- You should use said male to fix things because girls are incapable of anything mechanical or technical.
- Lying to your parents is fine. Lying to your parents while you run away to save your suicidal boyfriend is an extremely good idea that shows your strength and maturity. Also, it is what you must do.
- Car theft in the service of love is acceptable.
- If the boy you are in love with causes you (even indirectly) to be so badly beaten you end up in the hospital, you should tell the doctors and your family that you “fell down the steps” because you are such a silly, clumsy girl. That false explanation always works well for abused women.
- Men can be changed for the better if you sacrifice everything you are and devote yourself to their need for change.
- Young women should make no effort to improve their social skills or emotional state. Instead, they should seek out potential mates that share their morose deficiencies and emotional illnesses.
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Saturday, November 14, 2009
- I saw the Fantastic Mr. Fox at a free screening the other night and it was a pretty funny movie. I would recommend it to anyone who likes to laugh.
- Some of Ellen's family came in town and we had a small party get together for them.
- Gave a presentation in class about the movie Stigmata.
- Went to the Price is Right again.
- Talked to my girl on Skype a few a hours after she jumped out of a plane.
- Went to In N' Out again and talked to Jimmy.
- Started working on a new side project...exciting!
Friday, November 6, 2009
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Monday, November 2, 2009
Last night I decided to treat my roommate slash director of our weekend film to some Panda Express. So we got in my car and went to the Beverly Center to get some. The beverly center is a 8 floor mall where the food court is at the 8th floor. So after we rode about 30 mins worth of escalators we reached the top only to see it was closed...We about figured it out when we got to the seventh floor and seeing all of the shops closed. Figures...
But now I am SO GLAD PANDA WAS CLOSED!
God said no....I have something better for you...
Me and Josh decided In N' Out would be good. So we paid the money to leave the parking lot after buying nothing and set out for Sunset Blvd. We arrived at In N' Out and went inside where we approached the counter where Jimmy took our order. Jimmy was a cool dude and as I ordered a Strawberry shake this kid that was probably 10 ran up to me and yelled
Kid - "DON'T GET STRAWBERRY! GET CHOCOLATE! IT'S BETTER!"
Jeremy - "yeah, are you sure?"
Kid - "Yeah! It's the best flavor!"
Josh - "Whoa now. Everyone knows Vanilla is the best flavor."
Kid - "No it's not! Chocolate is!"
Josh - "I think I'm a little bit older...I think I know about these things."
So while Josh is in a heated debate over which of the primary flavors is better I am contemplating listening to this tiny sales man. I think this kid seems to know something I don’t so I change my order to chocolate. As we walk away to get our drinks Josh leans over and says...
“This better be good kid."
Halejeluah this was just Act one! So we went and got our drinks and waited for them to call our order. As we walked over to get our drinks the security guard pulled Josh aside to see if the kid was causing trouble. She had some sort of thick accent that was hard to understand but we told her that the kid just was recommending chocolate over strawberry and the whole story.
Guard - "You should mix them together."
Jeremy - "Chocolate and Strawberry? Sweet! Get a chocolate strawberry shake!"
Josh - "Did you mean chocolate and vanilla?"
Then the woman just looks at us and raises her eye brows...I don't think she knew what we said but she just stared at us.
Josh - "Haha. I suppose either one!"
Guard - "You mix chocolate and coffee. Delicious"
Josh - "Oh yeah?"
Guard - "Yes. You mix chocolate and coffee...you be up for 2 days"
Josh - " I wouldn't want to go to sleep after that. I would want to celebrate!"
After that we went to wait for our food. So when they called "19" I went to get my order and who should appear but the same kid! He continued to fill my head with In N’ Out wisdom.
Kid - "Next time get your burger with lettuce and extra EXTRA spread! It's better that way!"
Oh yes, he said double the extra.
Jeremy - "Man you seem to have all the answers."
Kid - "I'm an In N' Out pro! Also dip your fries in the spread! It's good!"
Jeremy - "Alright man. I'll get some extra EXTRA spread."
Josh - "You haven't steered us wrong yet."
That kid had all the answers! He was right about the spread and fries. Josh was like man that kid isn't full of crap after all! So as we were eating outside Josh was trying to aim his camera on his phone behind him to get a picture of this guy behind us that was wearing a naval neck! It was a V neck that was all the way down his chest. It was unreal. After Josh failed at that we continued eating while I was telling Josh how I have always wanted to just sit at one of those 4 person tables where there is only 2 people sitting there and just join them.
I then decided I wanted to eat dinner with Jimmy, In N’ Out Pro kid, and the security guard. That would have made my night.
As I’m talking a legit bicycle gang came flooding around the corner. I like how Josh describes it saying
“And these just aren’t any bikes. These are custom, sick looking, flashy, street-cruisin bikes. I don’t know how else to explain them without being offensive.”
Like 12 guys and girls on bikes came around the corner and we were weirded out. Josh was about to say to the guy at the table next to us "man, looks like somethings going down" when the guy yelled out
"WHERE THE F**K YOU BEEN! I BEEN HERE FOR LIKE 15 MINUTES!"
Josh was so glad he held his tongue.
It was a few minutes later when 2 of the bikers sat down at our 4 person table! Just like I had talked about earlier! It was perfect!
It was also awkward because me and Josh had finished our food, but we wanted to stay and talk to them. However, we didn’t want to look like “lingerers” as Josh said.
So as we got up to leave Josh asked them where they biked from.
I think he said the biked around the Parcenon...whatever that is... Probably not the Parthenon thats way to far.
We left talking about how funny it would be to have a chase scene right now. Just take one of the bikes and just start riding at top speed. They would all get on and start chasing us down La Brea. Dodging out of traffic, running red lights, looking back and seeing this flood of guys on bikes yelling at us! Then the scene would cut back to the guy left behind just sitting there sipping on his In N' Out drink. Then back to us as we reach our apartment and lock ourselves in our room as they are bangin on the door. We would throw the bikes out the window to appease them.
Now Josh has some material to put into his screen play.